The Result? B+

I’ve read it twice. The script, tentatively called Chub (any thoughts on this, some dig it, others - like myself - are still not sold) is readable. I’ve verified that with a small group of readers, who were kind enough to give me notes in the face of my obnoxious hounding.

The biggest question I wanted to know, something the future of this script/story hinged on, was whether the story’s interesting to anyone other than me. We’ve all been there: Gotten super-excited about a pitch or an idea, having it come to life in your head, and then making the mistake of sharing it for the first time.

I’m glad to say, the consensus has been positive. I’m told that it is a smooth, entertaining read, and (something that makes me really happy) that it doesn’t read any more first draft-y than something written over a longer period of time.

The foundation is laid, but that’s not to say there aren’t problems. Fairly substantial ones, although I don’t find this daunting. More on this later.

I continually underestimate the familiarity non-writers (and audiences as a whole) have with the concept of ‘story’. Because we as a society are so well versed in story and have come to expect certain things from it, when there are holes/missteps in a script, they seem to stick out as if they were written in 24 point bold. The holes in Chub are minor, but they stem from more significant decisions I made in order to get the draft on paper.

(The following is a mish-mash of notes given to me, as well as some issues I’ve declared troublesome).

“I’m promising myself (in the sake of efficiency – only time will tell whether this was a good decision) not to pay too much attention to ‘traditional structure’ – instead to follow my own story beats”

So, as quoted above, I didn’t spend much time worrying about structure. After reading it, this is painfully obvious. The first act/second act bridge is unsatisfying, largely because the protagonist’s actions aren’t properly motivated. I did follow my own story beats, but in doing so I only skimmed the surface of the conflicts and relationships I’ve set up. The potential, as echoed by my readers, is great, interesting, and emotionally resonating…I just need to get there.

It amazes me how predictable I am. I have a horrible habit, evidenced in all my scripts, of writing in a second act love-interest that turns out to be a catty, one-dimensional vagina and vanishes off the earth just before Act 3. This time around, her name is Marcie. And, as usual, this character gets cut from draft 2. In this case, she’s becoming a ‘he’ (As the Dude says, ‘it will really tie the room together’ - it motivates the actions of other characters, cleans up the backstory…wish I thought of it earlier)

I think that many of the major issues are already solved on my head, and are just not on the page. This makes me feel much more secure than if I was faced with multiple unknowns. There are some things I’m not sure of - but the pieces will fall into place as decisions are made and answers are found. Most of the clarifications fall into the WHY category, which is to say my characters do things and act certain ways, but the driving forces that make them HAVE to do and say and think the way that they do aren’t in this draft.

I’m going to start this weekend on revisions. I have no formal re-writing structure that I adhere to, and always think that I’ve weakened what I had before (I still maintain that Marigold Moon was a better script after draft 2 than it is now, despite hearing the contrary). I hate re-writing, because it always feels forced. With this script, I don’t feel that way. It’s much more organic and natural than I’ve found with other stories. Not sure why this is - but it’s definitely a distinct feeling I have. I can't take credit for the changes I'm about to make - they are actually making themselves as I discuss the script with people. Logic and the inherent story sense I mentioned earlier don’t exist solely within the audience. They exist within the story itself. And that’s another wonderful thing about writing: creating something that takes on a life and direction all its own. And we get to sit back and watch it tell US what to write.

Hope to have draft 2 (and it’ll likely be a fairly significant ‘draft’, rather than a ‘polish’ or a ‘pass’, or whatever cutesy terms we use) done for next weekend… I’m going to the cottage tomorrow with my lady and look forward to writing in the quiet, breathing the fresh air. For me, it’s a much more productive environment than being bunkered down in Second Cup in the dead of winter.

Overall, I’m happy with the draft. There are a lot of positives (which needn’t be mentioned here) and it really provoked dialogue, which would make any writer happy. I’ve heard that being a ‘writer’ is really being a ‘re-writer’. This used to terrify me, I think because I had to labor over what to cut, where to tweak, and what to completely overhaul. With Chub, things seem to be sunnier right out of the gate. Here’s hoping…