Halloweak

Saturday night. Everybody that Josh knows is out on the town, dressed in what they consider to be the wittiest costume ever conceived and constructed.

In years past, Josh is out with them. But this year, he just isn't feeling it. The whole Halloween thing - yawn.

Rewind 15 years:

I was never one to enjoy being scared. At least not in the traditional sense. Murderous dolls and zombies and vampires and Richard Simmons were scary for most kids, but not for me. Because of this 'defect', I never watched horror films. What's the point? They're so impossibly fantastic. I have so many REAL things to be scared about.

I was scared Ben Johnson was hiding under my bed, waiting to stick steroids in my feet while I slept as punishment for dropping support for him after the truth came out. I slept with my legs crossed for a more than 2 years.

I was scared that robbers would storm my house and take everyone hostage, so I kept a bag of toy guns under my bed that I deemed 'convincing' enough to look and sound real in the event I had to bunker down in my room.

I was scared that the guy who's profile I was watching on 'America's Most Wanted' was waiting upstairs, ready to 'hush' me when I found him and force me to hide him from the authorities.

See? Much more plausible, real-world fears.

Fast forward to Saturday night:

Everyone else was out getting haunted (read: blind drunk), and I was focused on the excellent finish to the Leafs/Habs game. After the game, I had to find something else to watch. There was nothing on, and I had already viewed everything on my PVR (beloved, beloved PVR). I decided to take a quick glance at TMN on Demand to see if there was anything I hadn't watched yet.

And there it was. Staring right at me. The answer to my evening lived inside six little letters:

D E X T E R

I found it! Finally! I can't believe I didn't look here sooner.

I popped some corn and hit play. The first 10 minutes made me squirmy and although I covered my eyes a few times (the old 'peeking-through-the-fingers' move), I couldn't stop turn it off (my father, however wrote it off after about 4 minutes. Patience.)

Fast forward 3 hrs:

Finished the first 3 episodes. Left me shook; frightened in a way that I hadn't been since childhood. Fuck the Halloween 'staples' of ghosts, witches, and warlocks. Monsters are REAL. And I've never seen one brought to life with the same eerie authenticity as Michael C. Hall's Dexter.

What intensity! What great writing! What excellent performances! What imagination!

It might be my new favorite show. Besides LOST, it's newly anointed as the one show I can hardly wait for each week.

And Dexter is something to be scared of. Terrified even. Because Dexter could be your neighbor. Your son's soccer coach. Your wife's best friend. The guy at Timothy's dropping arsenic into your latte.

I encourage everyone to watch it. If you can get through the pilot and honestly tell me you're not completely compelled to watch more, I'll give you your money back.

If not, I get to keep the imaginary fantasy money and use it to build my imaginary fantasy panic room to protect me from the REAL dangers that face our sick, deranged society.

Random note:

I had the good fortune to dine with the CEO of a major media conglomerate last night. When I told him I had a new favorite show, he jumped out with 'Dexter!' before I finished the sentence. Didn't even bat an eyelash. The lesson:

Everyone admires, respects this show. From stuffy execs to hopeless creative romantics. Even if you see NO personal connection to it (although whoever says this is lying, in my opinion). Even if it's not your taste - it's worth watching an episode just to appreciate the craft of impeccably-executed TV.

Personally, my favorite reason to watch is, as Dennis McGrath noted: it's a MAJOR accomplishment in writing when you can make a brutal, calculated serial killer your sympathetic protagonist.

What's your favorite reason to watch?

Two posts in one day? Inconthievable!

Does two postings in one day make up for two weeks (okay, three) of silence? Just say yes, and read on.

I just watched last night's Studio 60, and two things popped out at me:

1. Is Amanda Peet pregnant? It seemed that her carrying around a coat and bag all night was done so to hide something. Pardon the tasteless description, but she looked a little thick around the midsection. Anyone else notice this?

2. Steven Weber is fucking funny. I wish I could see Mr. Million-An-Episode Mandler Albing watch each episode and complain to his pill bottle...er, family about Wings Weber kicking his ass every week.

Because someone asked me, "Why haven't you posted lately?", and I realized that 'because, that's why' wasn't an acceptable answer

Sorry for being out of touch. If I could only pawn off my lack of productivity on the newfound addition of PVR to my life and convince myself it wasn’t an excuse, I would. Trust me, I'm a sucker for transparent scapegoats.

PVR. Three little letters. But more powerful than Brangelina, Bennifer, or Madonna's stolen black baby combined.

But seriously, how did I live without this marvel? It’s better than cigarettes, Party Mix, and White Russians in one - although I’m not sure it’s any healthier.

Where as before my ‘must-see’ TV really only included Lost, Arrested Development, and Family Guy, my stable of shows I’m ‘into’ has expanded. I consume weekly, in no particular order:

Lost
The Office (Hilarious every week, if not one-note)
Studio 60 (Seems I'm one of 10 people who like it)
Rent-A-Goalie (I'll give it another few weeks, but it's hanging from a life-line)
Weeds (missed an episode or two)
Heroes (getting better every week)
The Daily Show (You know you're successful when... you spawn a poorly received Robin Williams vehicle)
The Colbert Report (it surpassed Daily as the better show about two months ago)
30 Rock (Tracey Morgan won me over with the chicken-nuggets-AIDS rant)
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (good writing, great success story)

I’m getting fat on television. Stuffing my furry little face full of of conflict, comedy, and things that go BOOM. Basically, I’ve added about four hours a week of necessary viewing. If I was restricted by archaic institutions like the 'broadcast schedule' (harumph!), it's concievable that my weekday evenings would be totally hijacked by TV, at the mercy of time slots and if, god forbid, I found two shows on at the same time…well, lets just say I don’t think I would be capable of making such life-altering decisions. Thank God (to whom I give the credit) I have this hard drive to archive my addictions and release them to me in digestible, easy to manage doses. I swear if someone developed a way to inject Lost directly into my bloodstream, I’d be in rehab within weeks. I hear FOX is working on it.

So am I a lost cause, a fully-formed TV junkie? No, not yet. But if I could find out what time Dexter or Jericho was on, I might just penetrate that loosely defined point-of-no-return. And with another exciting NBA season around the corner (my #1 drug, not to mention my outlet for vicarious living), I can see it becoming necessary to learn to like coffee just so I can keep awake long enough to watch everything I’ve earmarked on my PVR.

Do I like watching more television - or God, as I’ve started to call it? Absolutely. I find myself writing more and more TV these days (the only way to make a decent buck working in Canada – I bet entry level copy boys/girls/droids/monkeys/whatever make more than the average Cdn film-only screenwriter) and it’s imperative to keep up with the shows that are crushing the Canadian industry. For a more intelligent description than I could muster, check out Dennis McGrath’s post on 10 ways to make Canadian TV better.

Moving now to the future of narrative motion-pictures, the online series: We're now fully cast on Team Leader, and I’m quite excited about the group of actors we've assembled, particularly our leads – I think they have great chemistry.

So, we’re now about three weeks away from production on what we're calling Canada’s first live-action serialized comedy. At least that’s the story we're sticking to. Wanna fight about it?

Coming soon is a more detailed description of this project a.k.a. a thinly veiled attempt to plug our series so that you’ll all watch it, either online, downloaded to your iPod, or your cheaply manufactured knock-off iPod.

We don’t judge. We just want you to enjoy the show.

Best Opening Weekend Of The Year?

I think we have a contender...

The Last King Of Scotland
As I proclaimed during TIFF, performances by James McAvoy and Forest Whitaker make this already powerful film spectacular. Although it's Forest who will get most of the media, McAvoy shines like a Klan spotlight in the Alabama swampland.

And yes, I've been waiting for a reason to use that.

Trailer Park Boys: The Movie
Admittedly not a member of the TPB die-hard fan club, I am excited for this film. It's getting great reviews, and that's tough for a Canadian comedy to achieve.

Two reasons keep my skepticism at bay. One of those reasons has a sub-point, but I wouldn't feel right calling them three:

1) I trust Reitman.

2a) I read that rather than other tv-to-feature films like Wayne's World and Bob/Doug Mackenzie, TPB chose to use their inflated budget not to get bigger, but deeper into the story.

I find this distinction inspiring, and really think it's a decision that more folks in charge of comedy should be brave enough to make.

2b) This adds evidence to something I've been saying for some time: That great comedy comes from character, not circumstance.

(Now that I think about it, I have a suspicion that a dude much more famous and well-dressed proclaimed something along these lines some time ago. Am I making this up... does anybody know what the hell I'm talking about?)

The Departed
Everything I've read claims this is Scorcese back in Goodfellas form. A proclamation like that obliges every male in the free world to drag his girlfriend to opening weekend under the auspices of 'it's my turn to choose'.

Just look at the cast of brothahs (my best Bostonian accent): Jack Nicholson's woken up from a three year catnap to play a villain. Matt Damon (Maht-Daymun!) as a bad cop. Leonardo 'Remember when I was the shit?' DiCaprio, Scorcese's answer to Tarantino's Thurman. And the completely underrated Marky 'Undies' Whalberg.

Apparently it's full of violence, stuffed like a holiday bird. It's been a while since I've enjoyed a graphically violent gang film, and frankly, I kinda miss it. Big fingers crossed on this one.

Fun Fact: At 150 minutes, this film is the shortest Scorcese picture since 1999.


So do me a favor this long weekend. Go to the theater, buy a ticket for Trailer Park Boys, and go see any of the three above films.

(I'd be great if you actually went to see TPB, but I understand if it's not your brand of ale.)