TIFF DAY 4

9:30AM
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Everyone’s been excited about this film. It’s been buzzing around the festival along with Borat and DoaP. Christopher Guest’s departure from the mockumentary genre wasn’t such a departure after all – because much of the film is told through the lens of an Entertainment Tonight type show, it allows for the direct-to-camera interviews that have been a stalwart of his films since Guffman.

This movie, about actors caught up in internet Oscar buzz during the production of a film called ‘Home for Purim’, is very funny. I love ensembles, and Guest’s familiar cast does their 'thang’ damn well. It must be tough for a director to divvy up screen time for all of these fantastic actors and characters, but I suppose it’s an enviable position. I find it challenging as a young writer to balance ensemble scenes, let alone full features of 10-plus major characters.

Watched this with Patrick, Hannam, and Dan, and I think it’s safe to say the four of us laughed pretty much through the whole film. Particularly guffaw-worthy is Fred Willard as Ryan Seacrest circa 2035. His hair got a laugh EVERY TIME he appeared on screen – I think that’s a viewing first for me.

At the end of the day, I would say that this film was better than 'Mighty Wind' but not 'Best in Show'. Great actors like Ed Begley Jr. and Eugene Levy were underused (someone had to be), although Guest gets applause from me for not allowing this film to balloon into a 2hr-plus viewing. At 86 minutes, it was just long enough to be near-great. Which on the scale is much better than good and only slightly below great, or an 89% if it were a test. No more films today, as we’re off to the…

CFC BBQ

We got there really early, which felt fairly awkward at first but turned out to be an astute strategic move. We hit the lengthy food lines before anyone else got there. Usually, you join the queue hungry, and by the time you get to the front you’re so fucking ravished that the topsoil starts to look like ground beef and yards of shepherd’s pie mirage begins to line the CFC patio. Not this year –I was fed and full with tons of time left over to schmooze. Mark my words: I will now be the annual ‘uncomfortably early to the BBQ’ guy.

But I find three hours is a bit long to present the plastic smile and kung-fu grip. I did meet some neat new folks, specifically Tess Girard, a young director, and Alex Epstein, who, I must say, can rock a chocolate safari hat like nobody’s business. Part shade, part deterrent, part statement, part self-defense – ALL style.

But otherwise, I found myself drifting from group to group, latching on to someone I knew until they ran into someone I didn’t. Once their conversation turned to old times/their kids/Milan fashion/something I couldn’t contribute to, I moved on like the crazy corduroyed (I was told it was appropriate for the season, apparently not) nomad of the BBQ.

While on the topic of my wardrobe malfunction, I found myself sweating like a Muslim at the airport for most of the afternoon. And I couldn’t take my blazer off because I had cultivated quite a collection of sweat stains under said jacket. I was aware of Armpit Ponds 1 and 2, and Lower Back Lake, but I expect there would have been some unwelcome surprises had I shed the overcoat and gone for the gusto.

It was much less populated than last year – about 1100 instead of 3000. This allowed the CFC’s army of raffle-ticket saleswomen to circle the food tables and bombard us with offers of discontinued iPod Mini skins and raffle tickets. What I found amazing is that many of the thugs...ahem, salespeople were pitching us to contribute to the Canadian Film Institute, the Cdn Film School, even the Cdn Film College. I did not give these good people my $20 bucks – I’m still debating whether I got my $5000 worth from last year.

Despite the gang assaults, it was good to see the same people I’ve been seeing every day since Thursday. I’m going to miss Weird Skinny Mullet Guy, Mrs. Don’t-Own-A-Bra, and the Mustachioed Three when the festival wraps.

After this, I absolutely had to go get some exercise. Whatever I felt inside of me, it wasn't healthy. A steady diet of street meat and popcorn had me feeling even less healthy than usual. I ran around for a few hours, and felt marginally better about myself...for a few more hours.

Final thought: I’m a bit enraged that a writer friend of mine, a CFC ALUMN, didn’t receive an invite to the party. How can they do that? contributedt a working writer that has contirubted tsvelte culture of the building, so that svelt housewives can bring their designer-clad fauxhawked kiddies to kick people in the shins and dance around the grass? Just saying. And those who know me know how much I love affectionate things that are smaller than me. This isn't about them. It's about doing what's right.